Season One: Thank Goodness for Fans

I'm just going to say it, Season One sticks out like a sore thumb. Sure, it was important because it set the foundation for everything that the show was to become, but looking back at it, it's amazing to think of the difference between was it was, and what it would be. It's a great testament to the uniqueness of MST3K that, even though the riffing was sparse at times, the show collected a core group of loyal fans early on that understood what the show was all about and what it was trying to do. That was very important since MST3K was slated for cancelation after the first season. Thank goodness for those fans who, along with the rest of us, were handsomely rewarded for their loyalty. Thank you original Msties. Thank you.


Season Rank and Reflections

Andrew's Rank:

# 10

Mstie Rank:

# 10
By far, this was the worst season of the show. Granted, it was the first season and would lead to great things, but the distance between this and what it would become is night and day. I didn't care much for the serial shorts, either. Shows 107: Robot Monster and 110: Robot Holocaust were steps in the right direction.


RPMs (Riffs Per Minute)

RPMs for Season One, not surprisingly, were the worst in the show's history. However, RPMs increased as the season went on, a trend that continued well into the second season. The RPM average at the end of Season One was ~6.3; a low that the show would NEVER again see.



5.389 11.563 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113


Andrew's Enshrined & Choice Eps

Mstie Enshrined & Choice Eps


RPM Top 44

Mstie Bottom 44

# 176 - 105: Corpse Vanishes
# 175 - 102: Robot vs the Aztec Mummy
# 174 - 103: Mad Monster
# 173 - 104: Women o/t Prehistoric Planet
# 164 - 106: Crawling Hand
# 160 - 113: Black Scorpion
# 157 - 108: Slime People
# 156 - 101: Crawling Eye
# 146 - 111: Moon Zero Two
# 143 - 109: Project Moonbase



Available on - 13 episodes - 100%

101: Crawling Eye

Box Set #17

106: Crawling Hand

Single

111: Moon Zero Two

Box Set #28

102: Robot v Aztec Mummy

Box Set #15

107: Robot Monster

Box Set #19

112: Untamed Youth

Box Set #29

103: Mad Monster

Box Set #14

108: Slime People

Box Set #27

113: Black Scorpion

Box Set #30

104: Wmn Prehistoric Planet

Box Set #9

109: Project Moonbase

Box Set #20

105: Corpse Vanishes

Box Set #16

110: Robot Holocaust

Box Set #25





<< >>

101: Crawling Eye

RPM

5.389

Snail

F

Alien Invasion : 1957 : Black/White : - Box Set #17

Andrew's Rank:

172

Mstie Rank:

156

RPM Rank:

176

Eye like this poster. Yuck. Just, yuck.

Characters:


Movie:
The very first mainstream MST3K episode features a movie that is the perfect example of what MST3K is all about. Several mountain climbers go missing and those that come back are homicidal. Forrest Tucker of F-Troop leads an investigation into the missing hikers and also consults a fellow scientist who is monitoring the strange environment of the Trollenberg mountain in Switzerland and the odd cloud that seems to move of its own will. The cloud is composed of very cold air that instantly freezes whatever it touches. The cloud is actually an artificial atmosphere created by giant eyeball aliens with tentacles. Forrest evacuates the village to the research facility and and orders the air force to firebomb the facility to dispose of the menaces. They do and the aliens are killed. Fave character: Forrest. Scientist turned leader of dozens.

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

174
-

Invention

: Joel has electric bagpipes. Dr. F injects dog serum into Larry to prevent sweating.

Okay.


-What about the head.

Not good.


-Gypsy came uncoiled and has an itch.

Not good.


-What's scary about a big eye?

Not good.


-Good and bad things about movie.

Okay.





<< >>

102: Robot vs the Aztec Mummy

RPM

6.241

Snail

F

Mutant Human(s) : 1957 : Black/White : - Box Set #15

Andrew's Rank:

175

Mstie Rank:

175

RPM Rank:

171

Short:

Commando Cody 1



El Brunetta almosto revealo breasto! This is actually a sitcom coming this fall.

Characters:


Movie:
The first eighty percent of this movie is a big flashback on the events that led to a scientist inviting his fellow scientists to his house. Boring? Not really. See, this guy is studying psychology and recently had a poor showing at a psychologist convention when no one believed his theory of past lives. To prove them wrong, he hypnotizes his wife to get info on her past life. She was an Aztec woman who fell into forbidden love with a warrior. The warrior was buried alive and she was sacrificed. After finding this out, the doctor investigates the Aztec temple his wife claims she saw, and sure enough, they find her past body and a solid gold breast plate and bracelet. They steal both items and the mummy awakens and takes them back. Another evil doctor decides he wants those riches and kidnaps the wife to tell him where they are. He also builds a robot to battle the immortal mummy. The title bout lasts 2 minutes before the cops show up, distract the robot, and watch as the mummy tears it to pieces and retrieves the gold trinkets. And then the movie just kind of ends. Not a good one at all. Fave character: The mummy for kicking the radiation-wielding robot's ass.

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

177
-

Invention

: Joel's helmet airbag is okay, but the Mads' Chalkman is clever.

Not good.


-Tom tries to shoo way the demon dogs, but they wee on him.

Not good.


-The demon dog leader visits the crew. Gypsy eats him.

Not good.


-Crow pretends to be the demon dog leader. They wee on him.

Not good.


-The dogs invade the ship, but a giant ball leads them away.

Not good.





<< >>

103: Mad Monster

RPM

5.743

Snail

F

Mutant Human(s) : 1942 : Black/White : - Box Set #14

Andrew's Rank:

176

Mstie Rank:

174

RPM Rank:

174

Short:

Commando Cody 2



Hey, lady. Do you mind if I share this poster with you? I won't be any trouble. The "Abrasive Personality" Monster.

Characters:


Movie:
This gem is from 1942, the earliest any MST3K movie was made, and it shows. In my opinion, the old grainy movie style adds a bit of creepiness, but I digress. Dr. Cameron is a scientist who has been researching genetics. More specifically, how to turn a man into a werewolf. His fellow scientists think he's crazy and they let him know it. Cameron is a bit upset with this and when he finally succeeds in turning his genetic guinea pig, very large and dumb servant Pedro, into a wolf, he decides to send Pedro to kill his comrades so they see first-hand that he is not such a kook. Except he is. Huh? Anyway, Pedro fails to completely kill one guy who is brought to Cameron's house for aid. Before he can talk, Cameron kills him and raises suspicions with Cameron's daughter's newspaper reporter boyfriend. And so to end the movie, lighting catches the house on fire, freeing Pedro who kills Cameron and they both die in the fire while Cameron's daughter and boyfriend escape. Fave character: Pedro. You just can't help but feel sorry for such a nice guy.

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

170
-

Invention

: Joel has Hell in a handbag, and the Mads have a flame-shooting Godzilla.

Okay.


-Tom hits on a blender and gets mad when Joel drinks from it.

Great!


-The crew discuss how werewolves eat people.

Not good.


-Joel swaps the bots' heads.

Okay.


-Good and bad things, but no one gets chips.

Not good.





<< >>

104: Women o/t Prehistoric Planet

RPM

6.438

Snail

F

Space Travel : 1965 : Color : - Box Set #9

Andrew's Rank:

164

Mstie Rank:

173

RPM Rank:

168

Hikeeba! Are there men, too? Do we care? No.

Characters:


Movie:
This movie is not only bad, but poorly titled. At any one time there is only one woman on the prehistoric planet. But to the story. A race of people known as Centaurians wish to mingle in with humans so futuristic Affirmative Action places few on each space ship in a United Planets, or something, fleet. Two Centaurians hijack one ship, Cosmos 3, crashing it into a nearby planet. There aren't many survivors but a female Centaurian survivor and the ship's captain live long enough to fall in love. Hold that thought. Another ship, Cosmos 1, receives the distress signal and goes back to help them. But due to the law of physics known as "B.S.", time passes slower on the speed-of-light traveling ship and by the time their 3-day trip to the planet is over, 18 years have actually passed. The Centaurian woman from Cosmos 1 strays from the ship to explore the planet and is saved from a large serpent by a savage named Tang. She finds out that Tang is the child of the two love-bird survivors from the Cosmos 3 and that Tang has their bodies frozen in his cave. Creepy. The crew finds the two and mistakenly shoots Tang to "save" the woman. In a flurry of action, the ship has to leave because a volcano is erupting. The woman escapes from the ship and finds Tang and they wave goodbye to the ship as it flies off. And since a new planet has been discovered, the captain of Cosmos 1 has the privilege of naming the planet. He names it... Earth! Oooo! Ahhhh! Look for John Agar and, unfortunately, Wendell Corey. Fave character: Tang. He lives in a paradise and a hot woman just lands on his private planet. Sweet.

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

167
-Joel has a living room in the SOL.

Not good.


-

Invention

: The Mads have started Clay and Lar's Flesh Barn which is great, but Joel's TP in a bottle is not.

Great!


-Joel brings a Doomsday Machine into the SOL.

Okay.


-Joel tries to disarm the DM with much confusing instructions.

Okay.


-The DM goes off, changing everyone to Isaac Asimov.

Okay.


-The crew read a letters. Larry plays guitar.

Not good.





<< >>

105: Corpse Vanishes

RPM

6.051

Snail

F

Horror : 1942 : Black/White : - Box Set #16

Andrew's Rank:

174

Mstie Rank:

176

RPM Rank:

173

Short:

Commando Cody 3



Bela's like, "Hey, what are you lookin' at?!" Has anyone seen Carol Channing?

Characters:


Movie:
Bela Lugosi stars in this 1940's horror film. One interesting thing about this movie that sets it apart from others in it's genre is the reliance on "believable" horror instead of unconvincing special effects. But that doesn't mean it's not bad. To sum up, several brides have collapsed at the altar, dead, or at least apparently so. The undertaker arrives to get the body, which is never seen again. The undertaker is really Lugosi, a mad scientist who takes the brides to his mansion. His wife has hen-packed him to use his talents to keep her young and beautiful. Lugosi does this by extracting brain fluid from the victims and injecting them into his wife, all with a 6 inch syringe. Ouch. A female reporter, Pat, decides to get more on the story and pays a visit to Lugosi's mansion to ask him some questions about a rare orchid found on each of the victims. She stumbles upon the captured brides, not dead but in suspended animation, and she flees the mansion. She stages a fake wedding to lure Lugosi out in the open. Instead Lugosi captures her and is about to extract her youthful hormones when his lab assistant goes crazy and stabs him and his wife just as the cops arrive to save the brides and Pat whose boss kindly gives her a raise after the ordeal. What a guy! Fave character: Pat. Women in the 40's got no respect but she ran after Lugosi's truck in 4-inch heels to get the story like it was NOBODY's business!

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

175
-

Invention

: Joel has the clever Chiro-gyro and the Mads have the Flame Flower.

Okay.


-Tom is reading "Tiger Bot" with a biography of Data.

Not good.


-The crew runs around playing tag.

Not good.


-Joel gets a haircut complete with inane banter.

Not good.


-Tom can't think of anything good about the movie and his head explodes.

Okay.





<< >>

106: Crawling Hand

RPM

6.212

Snail

F

Alien Invasion : 1963 : Black/White : - Single

Andrew's Rank:

173

Mstie Rank:

164

RPM Rank:

172

What the hell is the naked lady for?! Not that I mind, I'm just curious. Let your hand do the crawling with the Yellow Pages!

Characters:


Movie:

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

169
-Joel fills us in on his predicament.

Not good.


-

Invention

: Joel has an appendage-sensing saw and Larry has a long arm.

Okay.


-The bots don't want to play games with Joel.

Not good.


-The crew mock the movie with fake hands.

Okay.


-The crew figure out how a hand can be deadly, until a giant one invades.

Great!


-Good and bad things and letters.

Okay.





<< >>

107: Robot Monster

RPM

6.544

Snail

D-

Futuristic/Apocalyptic : 1953 : Black/White : - Box Set #19

Andrew's Rank:

160

Mstie Rank:

104

RPM Rank:

167

Short:

Commando Cody 4


Short:

Commando Cody 5



To carry the wo-man! Is it a "nice" robot monster? They don't tell us.

Characters:


Movie:
This movie hurt. Bad. It begins with a mother, her 20-year old daughter, her other younger daughter, and her son on a picnic. The boy and girl run off to play and find a cave in which two archeologists are digging. They exchange pleasantries until the two women find them and take them back to picnic. The boy runs away to find the scientists and BAM!, we see lightning flash and two lizards wrestling. Huh? It could only be the Apocalypse and the characters we've seen are the last remaining people on earth. They are hunted by a gorilla in a space helmet named Ro-man. He and his race want to kill all humans so that they will have sole rights to the universe. But the old human has developed a serum to eliminate all disease and they are immune to Ro-man's Death Ray. He decides that strangulation is the next best thing and kills the two kids before abducting the older daughter and killing her new husband. He tries to kill her but decides he loves her after ripping her clothes off, much to the chagrin of Ro-man's boss who kills Ro-man for showing human emotions. And then there is some more lightning and more lizards and then we see the boy again, being awakened from his terrible dream. Boo! This movie is just bad. Look for a scene in which the young couple start a tender make-out session even while being pursued by Ro-man. Also, note that the machine used to create a wall of bubbles to guard Ro-man's cave gets it's own spot in the credits. Fave character: The wrestling lizards. They made as much sense as anything else.

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

86
-Joel does the introduction.

Not good.


-

Invention

: The Mads have the methane-filled Whoopie cushion and Joel has the Cumberbubblebunt.

Okay.


-Joel dons aviator glasses as the bots discuss the theories of Commando Cody and explode.

Okay.


-Crow demands that Tom kill Joel the human, but Joel smashes him with a chair.

Classic!!


-The SOL is surreal.

Great!


-Plot holes are discussed. Ro-man was void of feeling, but liked bubbles.

Classic!!





<< >>

108: Slime People

RPM

5.683

Snail

F

Mutant Beast(s) : 1962 : Black/White : - Box Set #27

Andrew's Rank:

170

Mstie Rank:

157

RPM Rank:

175

Short:

Commando Cody 6



Using "bowels" to describe the monsters, they should've just called them the "Turd People". (Enter opposing political party here.)

Characters:


Movie:
Ugly humanoid figures, having actually lived underground for quite a while, decide to emerge from the sewers onto the streets of LA. They can only come out at night because of the cooler air and so create a dome of fog around the city that brings the temp down. Somehow, the US Army has lost the war with these creatures and their spears and the citizens of LA are left to fend for themselves. But they have trouble getting out because the creatures can make the dome of fog solidify whenever. The movie follows our good-guy team of a professor, his two daughters, an TV sports anchor, and a Marine and how they get out of LA and how the latter two characters bare-handedly destroy more slime people than the entire US military. They discover that salt water eats away the dome but the professor destroys the fog machine disposing of the dome and the slime people. Sounds great, but most of this action is obscured by a VERY thick fog, oftentimes, completely blinding the audience of the goings on. Fave character: The slime people. They had the decency to attack LA instead of, say, Chicago or the Everglades.

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

163
-Crow is a morning person. Tom and Joel are not.

Okay.


-

Invention

: Joel's eye-popping glasses are cute, as is the Mads' screaming cotton candy.

Okay.


-The crew put Commando Cody on trial.

Great!


-How did this movie get made? Clever.

Okay.


-The bots fog up the bridge.

Not good.


-Joel cooks, but Gypsy eats it all before he can show it.

Okay.





<< >>

109: Project Moonbase

RPM

6.280

Snail

F

Space Travel : 1952 : Black/White : - Box Set #20

Andrew's Rank:

167

Mstie Rank:

143

RPM Rank:

170

Short:

Commando Cody 7


Short:

Commando Cody 8



I'm not convinced to see a movie unless the poster has "up!" at least six times. Project Moon the Base. Drop... pants!

Characters:


Movie:
Some MST3K movies really hurt, and this was one. Due in part to the movie being really bad, but also because Joel and the bots hadn't yet found their groove. Anyway, this movie is about a trip to photograph the moon. Some bad guys don't want it to happen and kidnap the photographer and put a look-alike in his place to sabotage the mission. Two other people are chosen for the mission, pilot Major Bill Moore and Colonel Briteis, who is a woman and outranks Bill only because she was the first woman in space. She knows how to fly, but gets all whiny and panicky when trouble arises. They hate each other, but as the mission progresses, they work as a team to oust and subdue the imposter. The imposter does enough damage to force them to land on the moon, which is the first lunar landing ever. The sexual tension between the two becomes unbearable, but seems laughable when their military superior suggests that "for the purpose of looking good to the public" that they should get married. They do, they kiss at the appropriate time in the ceremony, and THE END flashes up on the screen. Huh? Booo!! Fave character: Bill. The real hero and he has the entire moon to himself, if you know what I mean.

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

146
-The bots are all nice and clean.

Not good.


-

Invention

: Joel has water-juggling paddles and the Mads have the Insectasketch.

Okay.


-Joel is flying Tom around the ship.

Okay.


-What will the tie of the future look like.

Okay.


-It's Spacom!

Classic!!


-The bots are anti-gravity and letters.

Okay.





<< >>

110: Robot Holocaust

RPM

7.219

Snail

D+

Futuristic/Apocalyptic : 1987 : Color : - Box Set #25

Andrew's Rank:

130

Mstie Rank:

132

RPM Rank:

162

Short:

Commando Cody 9



If it's man v. machine, then whose side is the giant worm thing on? The title so bright your lousy TV can't handle it!

Characters:


Movie:
There are bad movies, and there are BAD movies. The former are at least average in a few aspects, but the latter are horrible in all aspects. Robot Holocaust is one of the latter. This movie is very painful. It begins with a narrator telling us that the apocalypse has taken place and New York is in ruins. It even shows us New York with all buildings still fully intact and the windows nice and clean. Even Central Park looks great with mowed grass and trimmed trees. Anyway, the air has become poisonous and humans work as slaves, ever-working to supply power to a vague entity simply called "Dark One" who is aided by an Elmer-Fudd-mouthed mistress named Valeria and a large lobster-headed robot named Tork. The robots keep the slaves in check by murdering their strongest members and being the sole providers of breathable air supplied by "Dark One". But one of the slaves invented a cranial implant, before he was captured, that allows humans to breathe poisoned air. He sends his daughter to find his laboratory with the help of warrior Neo, the lucky father of all the Amazon children named Chi, an Amazon woman, an extremely annoying C3PO-emulating robot, and other extras. The evil party capture the inventor and turn him into an avocado. The good party destroys the main power station at the mere cost of a few extras, and then the movie just ends. Painful. Fave character: Tork. He's the only evil guy who's even remotely evil and his name is just awesome.

Reflections:

This is my favorite episode of the sub par first season. Joel and the bots are okay, but I love post apocalyptic movies like this. Why do people still use swords in the far future?

Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

160
-Joel sings the blues.

Okay.


-

Invention

: Joel has a nitro-burning funny pipe with is okay, as is the Mads' facial features face mask.

Okay.


-Joel must amuse the bots to pass their territory.

Okay.


-The crew have a sitcom and Cambot abuses the laugh track.

Great!


-Joel and Crow can't get into Servo's role play.

Okay.


-Name the avocado contest, and letters.

Not good.





<< >>

111: Moon Zero Two

RPM

6.554

Snail

D-

Space Travel : 1969 : Color : - Box Set #28

Andrew's Rank:

159

Mstie Rank:

146

RPM Rank:

166

Which way is "west" on the moon, again? The sequel is "Moon Zero Two Point One"

Characters:


Movie:
This movie is kind of like James Bond in space. A loner named Kemp and his buddy make trips into space to retrieve space garbage and sell it to a salvage lot. He is approached by a rich guy named Hubbard who has discovered an asteroid made completely of sapphire. The rich guy wants Kemp to help him crash the asteroid into the moon on a plot that Hubbard owns so the sapphire will be legally his. Sounds good, except a woman hires Kemp to help her find her missing brother. Hubbard doesn't like it because the missing brother was killed by Hubbard for his plot of land where the sapphire will land. Kemp kills the bad guys and proves the brother was murdered. Therefore the plot of land with the crashed asteroid belongs to the next of kin, the sister, whom Kemp has fallen in love with. The end. Actually a pretty good plot, but it can't escape the B-movie atmosphere. Fave character: Kemp gets it all in the end.

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

166
-Joel will be eating vicariously through us.

Not good.


-

Invention

: Joel's food teleporter is clever, and the Mads' vomiting toothpaste dispensers are interesting.

Okay.


-The crew reenact the Lunar Landing.

Great!


-Games of the future. Moontendo!

Okay.


-It's a Zero-G fight in slow-mo.

Okay.


-Good and bad things and letters.

Not good.





<< >>

112: Untamed Youth

RPM

7.068

Snail

F

Drama : 1957 : Black/White : - Box Set #29

Andrew's Rank:

169

Mstie Rank:

127

RPM Rank:

164

You darn kids with your Rock-n-Roll music and your penal abuse! I wasn't aware there was any other kind.

Characters:


Movie:

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

176
-Tom has a nasty computer virus.

Okay.


-

Invention

: Joel's match-snuffing pipe and the Mads' tongue puppets aren't too cool.

Not good.


-A play about Greg Brady.

Not good.


-Crow flashes back.

Not good.


-Gypsy goes haywire and creates a new Tom.

Not good.


-Joel explains goofy guys.

Okay.





<< >>

113: Black Scorpion

RPM

6.335

Snail

F

Mutant Beast(s) : 1957 : Black/White : - Box Set #30

Andrew's Rank:

166

Mstie Rank:

160

RPM Rank:

169

Every terror grows pale beside the one-fanged cutely bug-eyed scorpion and flirting lady! They panicked because they spent good money on this movie. Brush your scorpion with olive oil before baking next time.

Characters:


Movie:
Actually not a bad little movie, this black and white creature movie from the 50's concerns giant scorpions that escape from their home under the earth's surface when a volcano in Mexico erupts. The scorpions are the result of Willis O'Brien's patented stop animation. Anyway, the volcano erupts and Henry and Arturo go to investigate a destroyed town. Then meet Teresa, a ranch owner whose workers are terrified of the beasts. Henry and Arturo descend into the earth and find a huge underground filled with giant scorpions and worms and other things. They take pictures and barely escape. They blow up part of the mountain to bury the bugs but discover the hole was just one of many. They upset the nest and scorpions run amuck, including the alpha male, a huge black scorpion which kills hundreds of people, breaks stuff, and kills the other inferior scorpions. Henry and Arturo and the Mexican government devise a plan to kill the giant scorpion. They do, and Mexico is safe. Not really anything more than a vehicle for stop animation, but this is a decent 50's genre monster movie. Fave character: Henry sees huge bugs and gets the girl, so I guess it's him.

Reflections:


Host Segments:

Host Seg Rank:

145
-Joel and the bots party!

Not good.


-

Invention

: Both Joel and the Mads have a large party favor.

Okay.


-Joel and the bots speak Spanish with subtitles.

Classic!!


-The bots discuss Joel's habits while Gypsy is a giant scorpion.

Okay.


-Joel discuses special effects.

Not good.


-A letter psychoanalyzes Crow.

Great!